Facebook Posts Announcing I’m A Successful Human Adult Moving For My New Vague Job in Tech

By Kate Herzlin

Hey there Facebook world! Exciting news! I’m thrilled to finally announce, after my many months of searching for my work home, that I finally landed at Venture Enterprises Inc. as their Associate Media and Marketing Analyst. Can’t wait to move to Seattle and start this incredible new chapter of adulthood! #bestjob

 

Friends! You’ve been so supportive on my journey as I find the exact right job for me. After wading through months of interviews, I can finally announce that I’ve signed my contract and I’ll be starting in February as the Social Media and PR Strategy Assistant Associate at Mellow Media Incorporated. I can’t wait to finally start the totally right career path I’ve always been waiting for! If you know anyone looking for a roomie in San Fran, hit me up! #destiny

 

Hive mind! Know any apartments opening up in Palo Alto? That’s right: after a year of bouncing around temp jobs, barista jobs, and unpaid internships, I am confident I’ve found the one job that is where I’m meant to be. Starting Monday, I’ll be the new Assistant to the Associate to the VP of Software and Systems in Online Platforms at HelloGoodbye Technologies. THIS is the one, singular, isolated dream I swear I’ve ALWAYS had and now I’ll finally be living it as a real grownup! #blessed

 

Sorry to get real for a minute, but ever since I was a little girl in a suburb in Bergen County, NJ, I’ve known I would one day grow up and change the world. Now I finally have the chance to do that: starting tomorrow, I’ll be the Assistant Coordinating Resident of Programming at Media Technology & Innovative Medias, a new Media company that is poised to make real change in the world of technology as we know it. Also: any leads on apartments in BK would be greatly appreciated! #brooklynlyfe

Tl;dr I’m moving to Brooklyn to work in tech! Please like this post to validate my life choices!

 

I know these posts are always SO annoying but I’m just TOO excited and I can’t possibly hold it in and honestly I spent half the interview process drafting this Facebook post in case I got the job! Staring in literally five minutes, I’m going to be embarking on the single greatest journey any human adult has ever embarked on. I’ve accepted a position as the Interning Fellow of Associates in Assistant Wording in the Social Media & Marketing Company, TechBubble Ltd., a startup that will forever change the history of civilization. Sure, I may be onto the next job/city/chapter of my life journey in like three months, but right now, I can tell you that this totally specific job is exactly what I’ve always wanted. #westcoastbestcoast #needanapartmentotherwisewillsleepatmyoffice #ohgodihopetheyhaveanoffice #i’manadultnowright #dreamsdocometrue